


Didn't I love you?

by dalovely



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27709988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalovely/pseuds/dalovely
Summary: Derek tries to open his eyes but is hard; his head hurts as every bone is his body does. He wants to move his head but it feels so heavy and in this moment he honestly doesn’t have the strength to try.He moves his hand and covers his eyes, he knows is going to hurt like a ton of bricks but he open his eyes and all he sees is white, until he doesn’t, until it doesn’t hurt anymore to do it, until his eyes accustom to the light and then he sees her.He feels relive, he tries to smile but his face hurts “Hey baby” he says “What happened? Where am I?”And then everything goes to shit./Or the one where Derek suffers from selective amnesia, there is a massive lie, a pretend not pretend girldfriend, unrequited crushes,  “this is not what it looks like” situations and a clusterfuck of emotions.
Relationships: Casey McDonald/Derek Venturi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

Derek tries to open his eyes but is hard; his head hurts as every bone is his body does. He wants to move his head but it feels so heavy and in this moment he honestly doesn’t have the strength to try.

He tries to open his eyes again and shuts them down immediately; the light around him is to bright, to white, he feels like his he head is going to explode for how bright it is. But he has to try again, to make sense of all this.

He moves his hand and covers his eyes, he knows is going to hurt like a ton of bricks but he open his eyes and all he sees is white, until he doesn’t, until it doesn’t hurt anymore to do it, until his eyes accustom to the light and then he sees her.

He feels relive, he tries to smile but his face hurts “Hey baby” he says “What happened? Where am I?”

**_And then everything goes to shit._ **


	2. The beggining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek wakes up.   
> Casey freaks out.

Derek open his eyes and sees everyone around him, his dad is sitting staring at the ceiling, Edwin is playing cards with Lizzie, Nora is crying “Jesus, who died?” he exclaims

 **“** Derek!”

“Oh my God”

“Thank God”

“You woke up”

Everyone says at the same time.

“Not all at once” Derek says feeling like someone is hammering inside his head “What happened?” he says looking at the machines here and there, if he had to guest he would say he is at the hospital “Why I am here?”

“You were in a car accident” his dad says “you were driving and someone hit you on the side, you went flying thought the windshield” 

“No wonder my head hurts” he says wincing and closing his eyes

“The doctor is on his way, he would check you out”

“Oh God! Derek, we were so scared” Nora says while covering her face with her hands, Lizzie looks at his mom and hugs her on the side “We are glad you woke up” she says.

“Thanks Liz” Derek says, he looks around and notice that someone is missing “Where is smarty?”

“She is with the Davis, she wanted to come but we didn’t think it was a good idea for her to come today and wait here” Edwin says.

“Today? How long I been here?”

“A week” Nora says, looking at George debating telling him “The doctor says that when you went through the windshield you suffered a form brain trauma so he says that it was normal for you to take some time to wake up”

Derek doesn’t know what to say, the idea that he lived that scares him but if he is being honest he doesn’t remember it. He tries but his head hurts to much, his exhausted, his whole body feels so heavy, he just wants for it to stop hurting. He gives inn and closes his eyes and then he hears her voice “He’s here” she says.

Derek does his best to open his eyes and sees her again, she is wearing his sweater with her head at the top of her head, looking at him expectantly “Hey beautiful” he says.

She looks at everyone surrounding him with a worried gaze.

“Hey” she replays. 

“Derek I’m glad to see you woke up” The doctor says, he is a big guy with a no hair and a goatee “I’m your doctor, Jesus Gonzalez. I’m sorry to hear that we miss each other last time”

“Last time?” Derek exclaims 

“Yes honey, you woke up an hour ago but you went back to sleep” Nora says “Don’t you remember?”

Derek looks worried, he doesn’t remember it, he winces because the harder he tries to remember the more his head hurts.

“Is ok if you don’t” the doctor says “You suffered a big trauma to the head, is normal if you don’t remember much” Dr. Gonzalez stars listening to his heart “Now tell me. How do you feel?”

“My head hurts; there is a pounding in my brain that just won’t stop”

“And your arm? How do you feel it?” The doctor ask touching and lifting his arm, making him wince.

“It hurts, but not as much as my head does” Derek says

“Can you move it?” Derek tries, everything feels so heavy, so difficult but yes, he can move his arm.

“Great!” He exclaims, the doctor stops for a moment and looks at his parents and says “Now I’m going to do an exam, is really simple and it won’t take more than just a moment. I’m going to ask a couple of questions and you will answer the first thing that you think of. Keep in mind that there is not right answers, ok?”

Derek exhales, exams are not really his favorite thing but equally he nods.

“Awesome” The doctor says “let’s start with something easy. What’s your name?”

“Derek”

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen”

“Do you know what day it is?”

“Tuesday” Derek blurts but thinks better of it “Not really, my dad says I been out of it for a week”

“Ok, another question. Favorite thing in the world?”

“Hockey”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue”

“Can you name everyone in this room?”

“Say their names?” Derek asks

“Yes, just say their names”

“Well that’s George and next to him is Nora” Derek says while pointing at each one “next to her are Lizzie and Edwin, and right next to you is Casey”

“Excellent” The doctor says while looking at Casey who bugs her eyes at him, he sighs looking tired and ask “Let me just check your history one more time and I’ll return in a second”

Dr. Gonzalez moves across the room holding Derek history chart, George and Nora go with him.

Derek looks for Casey, who keeps looking at him with a worried look “Hey” he says

“Hey” she exclaims

“Why are you so far away?” He asks

“I’m not far away” she screeches from the bottom of the bed

“Yes you are” he says trying to reach for her “Come closer and stop worrying” Derek says “I’m fine”

“You aren’t fine Derek, you had an accident” Casey exclaims

“Yes, but I’m fine now” Derek says as he starts to reach for her hand “I promise beautiful, everything is fine”

“Beautiful?” Casey ask

“Yes, you” Derek says smirking

“What?” Casey ask bugging her eyes

“Babe, honestly” Derek says smiling “Everyone that would hear you would think that I never compliment you” 

“Babe?” Casey asks

“Yes” Derek says looking distressed “Are you ok?”

“Yeah” Casey says, smiling but it looks forced “Let me just” she says holding up her finger “One second”

Casey goes to where the doctor and his parents and stars moving around her hands franticly and they all turn to look at him.

The doctor comes by his side again “Derek everything looks good, I can see that you are tired so I thing is for the best if we let you sleep but for the time being I would like to do one more exercise”

“Ok” Derek says feeling his eyes go heavy, now that the Doctor says it is true, he feels really drained.

“Ok, I want you to name every person in this room again –Including me- but I want you to say now how they are related to you, I know is a weird request but trust me” The Doctor says smiling.

Derek does thinks is weird but what does he know, he is not doctor so he starts “Well that’s George” Derek says pointing at him “That’s my dad, next to him is Nora his wife”

“And how is she related to you?” The Doctor asks

“She is my stepmom”

“Great” The doctor says while making a note “Please continue”

“The one who is sitting in a chair is Edwin my brother and next to him is Lizzie, Nora’s daughter and my stepsister” Derek looks at the doctor with effort, his head hurts so much “You are Jesus Gonzalez, my doctor”

“Great! I know how much of an effort it is for you Derek, one more person and we are done for the day”

“Well she is Casey, Nora’s daughter” Derek says feeling his eyes get more heavy “And my girldfriend”

“WHAT?!” Casey screams just as Derek falls asleep once again.

*****

“Oh this is bad” I think “This is really, really, really bad. I mean what is happening?”

“Girlfriend?” I exclaims at loud “I’m not Derek’s girlfriend, I mean he never thought of me has his stepsister but I’m certainly not his girlfriend, he barely tolerates me as it is I am definitely not his girlfriend”

“Casey” Lizzie says.

“I mean we are barely friends and is not for my lack of trying I’m never been anything but cordial-“

“Casey!” Lizzie says more urgently.

“- I mean is not like I haven’t try to be his friend but GIRLDFRIEND! I am-“

Lizzie moves and grabs me by the shoulders “CALM DOWN” she whispers yells at me “We are in a hospital, we don’t know what is going, please calm down”

I’m in shock and stop me from talking all together, Lizzie never talks to me that way but she is right, I need to calm down is just that I’m a little freak out about what is going on.

“Is this normal?” I hears mom asking Doctor Gonzalez.

“Not really” The doctor says in a sigh “Is not uncommon for patients that suffer from brain trauma like Derek has to return and have a difficult time remembering recent events but what you guys are telling me I have never seen before”

“I received the test and everything looks promising so in this moment in time I’m not exactly sure what is the reasoning behind Derek behavior but don’t worry we will get to the bottom of it.” He says while looking at all of us “If you don’t mind Casey, I would like to talk with you for a moment, just so we can discuss a couple of things again, would that be alright?”

“Yes, no problem” I respond.

The doctor take me to his office, I sit in a chair across his desk and start to rub my hands, I can help it, for some reason I’m really nervous.

“So Casey, I understand that this is a difficult situation for you, I understand by your previous reaction that you and Derek don’t have the best relationship, Am I correct?”

“Yes” I say into a weak laugh “You could say that”

“How exactly is Derek’s relationship with you, honestly?”

I think of it for a moment “We are not really close, my mom married his dad when we were older and if I am being honest neither of us took it well” I think for a moment on how we try to separate them “So we join forces at the beginning but after they got married we drifted apart” Even though I think we were never really close to start with “If I’m honest our personalities are really different” I think of Derek and I laugh “He calls me a Keener” And as I say this sadness washes over me, I don’t hate Derek, I have never hate him, I just wish for him to be ok again “But anyway” I say clearing my throat “Even thought all that he in a way always have my back and I have his, is just that I think neither really knows how to get along with the other”

The Doctor looks at me for a moment and says “Do you think of him as your brother?”

“Honestly, no” I says looking at the floor “Don’t get me wrong is not like I hate him or don’t want him as family is just- I mean if I ask myself if I feel the same connection or do I think of him the same way I think of Edwin as my little brother or Marty as my little sister, and the answer is not really”

“I see” The doctor says “Do you think he thinks of you as his sister?”

I laugh “Definitely no” I say remembering all the times he had call me off “He has made it clear in the past that he doesn’t, he always underline the step in sister when someone mentions it”

The doctor thinks of this for a moment “Casey, this is going to sound a little bit weird but do you remember how Derek acted the first time you woke up?” he asks.

How could I forget, it was awful and I felt awful because it was all my fault. Derek woke up a couple of hours ago for the first time in a week and I was so excited to see him but when he called me babe and started calling me names it just freak me out because that’s not Derek, at least not the one I know. And then he started to convulse. He wouldn’t stop shaking and moving. It made me really scared. It made everyone really scared.

“Yes” I say “I remember it” I don’t think I can ever forget about it.

“Well, for what everyone told me he started to convulse when you calling off. I’m not saying is your fault because is not, I’m just stating the facts”

“Yes it did, but is was my fault”

“It wasn’t Casey, these reactions happen, your brother’s case is pretty new and he is just recovering from a big trauma, I promise you that it isn’t your fault, ok?”

“Ok” I say but I don’t really believe it.

The doctor looks like he knows this and sighs looking down “Look, I would like to test a theory just to see if it works, would you mind helping me?”

“Yes, no problem” I say “What do I have to do?”

“Next time Derek wakes up because it would be a next time I want you to play along to whatever he says”

Is he asking what I think he is asking? I don’t think he- “What do you mean?” I ask.

“For some reason Derek believes you are his girlfriend so next time he wakes up I want you to pretend to be that”

“Pretend to be Derek’s girlfriend?” Shit. He is asking.

“Yes, exactly. Do you think that you can do that?”

 **Shit.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is a brief description of someone convulsing.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Everything stated here is made up, I am not a doctor and all I know about amnesia is what I see in tv shows, this is not going to be medical accurate so please keep that in mind when you read this. Also I don’t own any of the characters just this story.


End file.
